Focusing on the good things

Photo of Erin's new house in eastern Washington, she is thinking of turning it into a Bed and Breakfast in the future. She's in the heart of wine country in a lovely little town and the house itself is very charming. I am really excited to see what she does with the place.

Yesterday was a good day yeah! We have a new niece in Texas (yet to be named) and a healthy mom and happy family so that's great news!

I took the day off from work yesterday so we could get the IUI procedure done so hurray the fertility drugs worked this month and it appears that I ovulated this time. Just to clarify, because I know this is confusing, I do not ovulate regularly, for whatever reason, we do not know, but I am anovulatory which for me is basically a nightmare. I had surgery on one of my ovaries when I was 21 and ever since then I have been terrified that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant.

Fortunately there is a drug called Clomid that helps women ovulate but there are some unpleasant side effects to it. I don't sleep well, I'm hot, my ovaries hurt, and I have frequent mood swings that make me feel seriously irritated. I'm not exaggerating or kidding, I am irritated. This is my 3rd month on Clomid, on month one I ovulated but did not get pregnant but on month two I did not ovulate so they doubled the dosage of the drug. The increased estrogen makes a more hostile environment for sperm so the Dr. recommended intra-uterine insemination (IUI) which means they take Bill's sperm, clean it and get the best swimmers and inject them into my uterus around the time of ovulation. IUI success rates are around 20% which is the same as a normally fertile couple.

Wednesday night I was up at 1am eating cereal and watching the X-files on TV wondering how I will deal with this if it doesn't work. Everyone around me is trying to be positive and hopeful but my strength has worn down about this situation and I think more frequently about what we will do if I can't get pregnant than I do about getting pregnant. Things are not easy for us right now, Bill is looking for a job and there is the possibility that we will have to move. I have a hard time dealing the the fact that my life could totally change in the next 6 months OR it could remain exactly the same. Fortunately Marshall dog was up late with me while I thought about all of this (Bill was upstairs snoring which trust me, he needs the sleep since he has to deal with me) and Marshall and I eventually fell asleep together on the couch watching Animal Planet. He's such a good dog but a total space hog.

We are having a yard sale this weekend and starting to paint the interior of our house. I am excited about getting rid of junk and sprucing up the house. Have a great weekend!

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