In Memory of Neighbor Dave
Wednesday evening was just another evening in our quiet neighborhood, Bill and I were headed out to walk the dog after work when we saw our neighbor Dave laying in the grass in his front yard with his dog Lalo. Dave recently moved into the neighborhood and he and Lalo were slightly out of place here amongst the manicured lawns and home owner's association rules. Lalo is an Australian Shepard and would sit in front of Dave's house unleashed almost all day long, just resting in the grass and not paying much attention to passersby. Most people around here hang out in their back yards and don't give their neighbors more than a simple wave when their paths crossed but Dave was different.
When he spotted us exiting the house with Marshall he gave us a cheery hello and told us about finding a nearby wetland where he could walk Lalo. I mentioned a path that went down by the river where Lalo could swim and said we would show him sometime. I hurried Bill along since he needed to write a paper and time was ticking. I remember being struck by how happy Dave looked at that moment, laying in the grass on a sunny day, his life full of possibilities, you could almost see an inner peace glowing from him.
Dave came to Corvallis from Newport, Or a small town on the coast. He was the captain of a fishing vessel but after a physical run-in with a union rep he had been dismissed from his position. He was recently divorced and decided to move here to go to school and study climatology. We had only known him a few weeks but Bill had enjoyed several conversations with him before Wednesday. Dave told Bill that he was recently diagnosed with M.S. and that he was trying to exercise more to keep it at bay. Dave was in his early 50s and appeared healthy, happy, and relaxed.
Bill was up late Wednesday night writing his paper and he noticed the lights in Dave's house were on late, it was 2am before Bill went to bed. The next day was busy and we couldn't find our kitty Cassie so we were distracted from noticing that Dave and Lalo weren't around. Bill had an evening class and when he came home around 9pm he noticed the same lights were on in Dave's house. He asked me if I thought he should go see how Dave was doing and I encouraged him to go.
Bill knocked on the door and looked in the window and saw Dave lying on the floor. Bill tried to open the door but it was locked so he ran around to the side of the house and opened the door and rushed to Dave. Dave was not responsive. Bill called the police and tried not to panic. The police arrived a good 15 minutes later, no ambulance, they must have believed Bill's assessment that Dave was dead. According to the initial police investigation, it looked like Dave had died sometime around dinner time Wednesday evening, just hours or minutes after we last saw him.
We took Lalo in to our house last night, he stayed by Dave's side all night and all day long and was pretty upset so I went on a brisk walk with Lalo in the cool evening air and I did not succeed in fighting back the tears. The police think something went awry with Dave's medication, perhaps the beer he had been drinking had caused part of it, we don't know. Bill is in shock, wondering if he could have saved Dave if he had stopped by sooner, perhaps late Wednesday when he noticed the lights on so late. I am so proud of Bill for watching out for our neighbor, for caring enough to go check on him and for recognizing Dave as a unique person and mourning his death.
I stayed home from the communications workshop today, I just couldn't talk to people, I have been spontaneously crying and feel emotionally wrecked. Instead I took Lalo on the path along the river I wanted to show Dave and threw sticks for Lalo while he swam in the river. I think Dave would have appreciated that. I thought about the last conversations I'd had with Dave, he expressed admiration for Bill and I and our active lifestyle and encouraged me to get pregnant soon. He was an amazingly friendly guy, the type that wore Hawaiian shirts and was always smiling. We will miss Dave as a neighbor and we are sad that he will not be a constant in our lives like we thought he would be.
One of the things I was learning about in the communications workshop was to think of your relationships in terms of conversations, what were the last 5 conversations you've had with someone? Your conversations are your relationship with that person. I am going to invest more in my conversations with people, it will be one of my biggest goals and something I hope to achieve successfully for the rest of my life.
Dave's ex wife came to our house late this morning and picked up Lalo, she said Dave has no immediate family and she wasn't sure what would happen with the house and his stuff but Lalo would be taken care of.
Friends, please take care of yourselves, your family, and the things that you love. Make sure you tell them you love them, and if you can, try to have a good conversation with a neighbor. In memory of Dave.
Lalo
When he spotted us exiting the house with Marshall he gave us a cheery hello and told us about finding a nearby wetland where he could walk Lalo. I mentioned a path that went down by the river where Lalo could swim and said we would show him sometime. I hurried Bill along since he needed to write a paper and time was ticking. I remember being struck by how happy Dave looked at that moment, laying in the grass on a sunny day, his life full of possibilities, you could almost see an inner peace glowing from him.
Dave came to Corvallis from Newport, Or a small town on the coast. He was the captain of a fishing vessel but after a physical run-in with a union rep he had been dismissed from his position. He was recently divorced and decided to move here to go to school and study climatology. We had only known him a few weeks but Bill had enjoyed several conversations with him before Wednesday. Dave told Bill that he was recently diagnosed with M.S. and that he was trying to exercise more to keep it at bay. Dave was in his early 50s and appeared healthy, happy, and relaxed.
Bill was up late Wednesday night writing his paper and he noticed the lights in Dave's house were on late, it was 2am before Bill went to bed. The next day was busy and we couldn't find our kitty Cassie so we were distracted from noticing that Dave and Lalo weren't around. Bill had an evening class and when he came home around 9pm he noticed the same lights were on in Dave's house. He asked me if I thought he should go see how Dave was doing and I encouraged him to go.
Bill knocked on the door and looked in the window and saw Dave lying on the floor. Bill tried to open the door but it was locked so he ran around to the side of the house and opened the door and rushed to Dave. Dave was not responsive. Bill called the police and tried not to panic. The police arrived a good 15 minutes later, no ambulance, they must have believed Bill's assessment that Dave was dead. According to the initial police investigation, it looked like Dave had died sometime around dinner time Wednesday evening, just hours or minutes after we last saw him.
We took Lalo in to our house last night, he stayed by Dave's side all night and all day long and was pretty upset so I went on a brisk walk with Lalo in the cool evening air and I did not succeed in fighting back the tears. The police think something went awry with Dave's medication, perhaps the beer he had been drinking had caused part of it, we don't know. Bill is in shock, wondering if he could have saved Dave if he had stopped by sooner, perhaps late Wednesday when he noticed the lights on so late. I am so proud of Bill for watching out for our neighbor, for caring enough to go check on him and for recognizing Dave as a unique person and mourning his death.
I stayed home from the communications workshop today, I just couldn't talk to people, I have been spontaneously crying and feel emotionally wrecked. Instead I took Lalo on the path along the river I wanted to show Dave and threw sticks for Lalo while he swam in the river. I think Dave would have appreciated that. I thought about the last conversations I'd had with Dave, he expressed admiration for Bill and I and our active lifestyle and encouraged me to get pregnant soon. He was an amazingly friendly guy, the type that wore Hawaiian shirts and was always smiling. We will miss Dave as a neighbor and we are sad that he will not be a constant in our lives like we thought he would be.
One of the things I was learning about in the communications workshop was to think of your relationships in terms of conversations, what were the last 5 conversations you've had with someone? Your conversations are your relationship with that person. I am going to invest more in my conversations with people, it will be one of my biggest goals and something I hope to achieve successfully for the rest of my life.
Dave's ex wife came to our house late this morning and picked up Lalo, she said Dave has no immediate family and she wasn't sure what would happen with the house and his stuff but Lalo would be taken care of.
Friends, please take care of yourselves, your family, and the things that you love. Make sure you tell them you love them, and if you can, try to have a good conversation with a neighbor. In memory of Dave.
Lalo
0 Response to "In Memory of Neighbor Dave"
Post a Comment