3 Tips To Keep Anger Under Control

Do you remember that movie “Anger Management” or even better, Hollywood’s super-hit the Avengers? In both situations, you saw the characters behaving and even stating that they are always angry and that everything pisses them off.

In the real world, being angry is not as funny as in the movies and, except for Hulk’s case maybe, this doesn't lead to incredible acts of supreme heroism. On the contrary, an angry person’s life is a living hell and unfortunately, it can turn into one even for the ones around.

Anger is a natural feeling and it occurs in the life of everyone once in a while. Frustration, stress, exhaustion, irrational thinking (according to the school of Cognitive – Behavioral Therapy), innate personality traits, emotional immaturity (according to the developmental psychologists), these are all trigger and maintaining factors for our daily anger.

The best case scenario when this happens is to acknowledge consciously what stands behind the anger, what cluster of reasons gathered up and led to an angry behavior, what immediate and at-hand solutions can you find on the spot before you yell at somebody, hit somebody or register so high blood pressure and heart rate levels you might end up in a hospital. Easier to be said than done. In that particular moment when you feel the entire world conspired for you to get miserable or broken and everything you wish for is a shotgun, taking a moment to analyze exactly what is that is bothering you so much, it’s quite hard to accomplish. Again, real life it’s not like the movies.

However, there are a few things you can actually do in an instant. When you feel the need for bloodshed or to smash all the plates in the house, remember that sticks and stones indeed do break bones, but words hurt people more than anyone can imagine. So before ruining a relationship, saying something that will never be taken back, insult someone, hurt another person or just lose the respect of others, here are some quick tips to do.

1    Freeze time

It’s about those seconds between our blood pressure skyrocketing, your better judgment taking a break and some bad words coming out of your mouth. If you can clearly distinguish those seconds, freeze them and do something else to calm down. Specialists from Mayo Clinic insist that counting to ten is not just for kids, but also for adults with anger management issues. Other specialists insist on taking advantage of those seconds and do something you enjoy. Vaping is a good solution and if you happen to have your blu cig at hand, vape a few before screaming your lungs out. It will help you chill and focus on something you enjoy. Singing your favorite song or filling your mouth with a piece of chocolate might also work. The main idea is to push your brain in focusing on something that is immediately pleasant for you. Thus, a small dose of endorphin's together with the time you kept your hands or mouth busy might help you relax and find other means to resolve a conflict than throwing objects or cursing.

2

           Make a joke

If you’re the type that gets angry quickly and you have a habit of saying the wrong words in the most inappropriate of moments, say something funny instead of something horrible. Or before slamming the door and leaving a fight (that rarely helps, provided it’s safer for the other ones that you leave the scene of a brawl), try to ease the atmosphere with something funny. It should mean you should practice this a lot, but in any case, the same specialists from Mayo encourage angry people to also develop a sense of humor. Defusing the bomb is way better than starting a war. Make sure you know the difference between humor and sarcasm, the latter is sometimes similar to punching one’s face.

3 

           Breathe

Really. Breathe. A history with anger management means you already know there are some relaxation techniques to use on the spot, so use them. If none appealed to you, start breathing slowly and deeply. No need to hyperventilate, as it will turn things worse, but if you have some self-motivating speech to go with the breathing, use that too. “Don’t kill anybody” might work, but if you went to at least one self-development or anger management session, you know there are other speeches that proved to do the trick in the critical moments.

These tips are not for the long run, just so you know. If anger is a problem for you and your peers or family members, seeking help is not below your dignity and nobody will think you are crazy. Take it as a tooth ache: if a tooth causes you trouble, you go to treat or remove it. Same applies to anger, as it is one heavy issue to deal with and can cause irreversible damage.

Share this post