Life moves pretty fast sometimes...

So as I was driving back from a job today and struck by an interesting reflection, that in an introspective way snowballed into a larger reflection.

Way back in early 2007 as part of my management class, we had to do a project where we outlined how to start a clinic or business. Any field of OT, any location, but needed to be very thorough. I tried to make mine as realistic as was feasible. I chose to focus on the area where I would be living after graduation, chose to have an outpatient clinic specializing in spinal cord injury and back injury (because there was no specialty clinic anywhere near the location and it was a personal interest), and picked out the office building to rent. It was an interesting project (as interesting as anything in your final semester can be), got a B, no biggie. Though I thought it was a great idea, I didn't seriously entertain that I would ever attempt to start my own business.

I am a person who feels compelled to immediately repay $1 borrowed from a friend, so the idea of applying for a hundreds of thousands of dollars loan (or more) is absolutely terrifying. I don't know that I could have the guts to "go for it" in the way needed to have a real business start up.

I think it was a couple of years ago that I was at an NBCOT volunteer meeting, chatting with some of the most awesome OT people in the country, that I was griping about my situation in the hospital. There was a lot to be frustrated about, who can really remember what specific complaint it would have been, but I think it must have been about reaching the pediatric population effectively. The response I got was "start your own business" and you probably could have knocked me over with a finger. How could I do that? I don't have enough experience or funds or or or or... I didn't see that as a feasible possibility.

So I drove by the office building that I had picked out over 5 years ago as my SCI clinic (Spine Care Institute: Back to Life TM) and noticed that it is now a cafe. Will that business succeed? What were their thoughts and fears when they started? I know not. However, in those same 5 years, I have sort of become a small business owner by becoming an independent EI practitioner. Got my own little cutesy business cards, a business address (itty bitty PO box), fill out my own bills, that kind of thing. It doesn't quite feel _real_ yet, but it is essentially true. I didn't really imagine that I would be _here_ maybe ever, an certainly not now. But that's how these things happen, I suppose.

I'm still waiting to find out what is possible in the coming year. For awhile, we thought we might be abroad for 2 months (?!!!) which would have been both crazy and cool, but it looks like that has fallen through. Being unsettled in this area is frustrating. I know that I'm in a holding pattern, and it was making me very stressed and worrisome. It's been getting better, and in a current study an applicable word came up. "Hupomone" means patience in situations, and get translated as perseverance and endurance. The root word is that for "hope." So I continue to hope and for now, that's working.

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